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A Little Post on my Personality Paradox

11/09/2011

102 Comments

 
    I saw this quote from my all time favorite author, Paulo Coelho and it made me think about a few things that I would like to share.
"Those who love giving advice on our garden never tend their own plant"

     
If there is anything that i have become increasingly overwhelmed by recently, besides the pressure, desires and uncertainty, it's the idea of being alone. Not lonely. Just alone. Even though I enjoy my downtime, I still spend more time thinking about others and caring for others than I do for myself. I trust easily. Give willingly. Fall hard. All for my friends, family, significant others, strangers who have left an impression, those in need, etc. This sounds great in theory, and of course it's a wonderful thing to be able to be selfless and kind and compassionate, but at what expense of your own?

     Learn from me. Be your own best friend. It's great to have a support system surrounding you but it's important to be able to stand on your own two feet and take a walk by yourself. It's incredible to be able to talk yourself through the hard times first and foremost and then have your friends and family as secondary, backup support. You're not doing anybody any good, even if your intentions are in place by neglecting your needs to take on those of others. It's like they say on the plane, first place your oxygen mask, then help those around you. If you are trying to help someone else first and run out of air, then you're not doing anybody else any good.

     If you had a healthier, more loving relationship with yourself, imagine how much better of a family member, friend, significant other and social service member you could be. Imagine the confidence this builds, the security, the self love, the compassion, the kindness, the patience...

     I wholeheartedly believe that being able to be there for yourself at all times, and in all aspects of life is a life skill everyone should learn and master. It's not selfish because the long term effects are selfishly selfless. The better you can be for yourself, the better you can be for the rest of the world.


So now, I would like to take the time to introduce you...to you. Enjoy your company, enjoy learning more about you, and enjoy taking care of you. I hear you're pretty great.

S.K.
 


Comments

Harish link
11/12/2011 7:45am

Thank you so much. Happened to drop by at a time when doubt had begun to overshadow reason.

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jnana link
11/20/2011 9:09pm

I've learned how to be my own best friend, but I am constantly feeling guilty about it.

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S.K.
11/20/2011 9:42pm

why do you feel guilty about it? if you want to talk more, shoot me an email at sahaj.kohli8@gmail[dot].com

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Anagha
11/20/2011 11:25pm

Hi,
A nice thought. I totally agree..:). because till the time you don't know how to stand on your feet, you cannot give your hand to another person for help or teach them to stand. It's very simple, if I don't love myself, how can I love others?
Anagha

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Diana
11/20/2011 11:43pm

I am very, very alone. At first, the aloneness was terrifying. I have learned to accept this season of my life. I have noticed that I am a better friend and sister and mother during this time. I have also built myself up physically by eating healthy and exercising. I am trying to have some compassion for myself bc I am very self-critical. But do I love myself? And do I think that I have to love myself so that someone else will love me? I am trying to let go of the programming in my head that says that I must behave/look a certain way to get love. I do not always feel lonely but I am sometimes overwhelmed. That feeling threatens any confidence I am building. Reading this post makes me hopeful that there lessons to be learned during this season. Thank you.

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HS
11/21/2011 3:23am

I tried to be my friend,but it seems it doesn't works. You become more alone and depressed. You need good friends with whom you can talk and share your feelings with. Sad that I don't have those type of friends around me :(

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barbara
11/21/2011 3:39am

Truly amazing post. Thank you. Very inspiring!
Barbara

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Evalda
11/21/2011 5:56am

loved every word and i agree. Its sound so easy to start loving urself and try to resolve ur own problems and c friends and family as back up but believe me its so hard i allways go to mu friends for help even if i know i can do it by myself i love my friends and i do love myself anymore but i love having them around and i still find "me"time. My friends are the ones who helped me start loving myself cuz they love me

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marija
11/21/2011 8:25am

great story. exactly when i needed it.i am always taking care of others, always doing my best to help everybody i meet. but then, i see that i give all my energy to them and that there is nothing left for me. i will try to reduce that, but i know that it will not be easy.

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adriana
11/21/2011 10:15am

Hi, I'm a social worker by training and learning to care for me to this day has been an up hill battle. It comes easy for me to care for others and give of me to others. I am able to provide tools for growth and for betterment of those I help. But when it comes to me I burn out, I talk myself down, I am constantly not good enough. It is a struggle to counter these "core" beliefs with that which I have learned over time in my spiritual quest. Thank you for the reminder and reenforcement of my worth for the overall well being of all I touch.

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j
11/21/2011 11:50am

Thanks for this. I think I need a good reminder every once in a while. I appreciate it.

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Angi
11/21/2011 4:16pm

True!
If you cant fill hollow spaces of your personality..you can't fulfill others significant peoples desire.
Fulfillment of your desires are as necessary as Oxygen in your life and you can do that only by exploring Yourself.
Thanks for the words S.K

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Jere
11/21/2011 7:47pm

hello, thank you for the words. the truth is, my father had already told me about this, that we must love ourselves first, thank you for remind me. have a great day.

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SK link
05/15/2012 5:35pm

Hello! I am the author of this blog and I have moved my blog to another site. I want you to keep reading so please check it out here - www.aquarterlifecrisisblog.com
Thanks for reading! SK

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Joasy
11/21/2011 8:40pm

How amazing.. i have been having these thoughts on my mind for days ... Feel so much better now!!

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shobhan ojha link
11/22/2011 12:12am


something i have to share about my loneliness.
meanwhile, your's was an interesting read !!
http://bucketofnostalgia.blogspot.com/2011/08/ennui.html

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Brian link
11/22/2011 12:51am

Awesome. I was pointed here by PC...one of my favorites. Well written, and apparently timely for so many of us.

Cheers.

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Carminie
11/22/2011 3:44am

Truly inspiring..Thank you for sharing!

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Sheela Nandini
11/22/2011 3:54am

Thank You for this lovely post,Sahaj!

I thank God for my support system-my best friends.

Yesterday,despite it being a perfectly rotten day for me-I allowed myself to be fussed over by my friend who's actually 9 years younger-we met at a deli and he heard me out,urged me to eat up-I settled for a club sandwich.Didn't realise how good food can taste when you are with a loving,caring friend...

And to top it all,he gifted me Gabriel Garcia Marquez's "Love in the Time of Cholera"knowing I had been desperately searching for it at my favourite secondhand bookstores.Totally unexpected that one.
I mean what do I say to this outpouring of best-buddy-love?

I'm breathing again:)

Love
sheela

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Anita
11/22/2011 5:35am

Awesome...Well said and best shared...this is exactly the project that I have started on, of late, better late than never...Truth & Realization hit quite hard...Me, Myself & Mine...Who can love me better than myself...who can take care of me better than myself...who can enjoy being me better than myself...Life is so precious, so here Iam listening to myself, understanding myself, and sharing with you my heart's speech, as I read this sensible post !

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Tarek
11/22/2011 8:48am

If you don't love yourself completely, how do you expect anyone else to?
C.G.Jung

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lockexiii
11/22/2011 10:54am

how do you know the boundery and the limit of how much you should share yourself to others?
(if youre capable of giving)
i think it's a very hard question:
to give,or not to give?
either could lead to guilt.

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SK link
05/15/2012 5:37pm

Hello! I am the author of this blog and I have moved my blog to another site. I want you to keep reading so please check it out here - www.aquarterlifecrisisblog.com
Thanks for reading! SK

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Hemant Nirmal Purohit link
11/22/2011 11:16am

I admire you & this one is beautiful.

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Josephine link
11/22/2011 3:05pm

Thankyou. If I talk and think negatively about myself - what harm will I then not do to the people around me? Last week I failed, now I try to raise up and stand on my feet again.

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Prachee
11/23/2011 5:16am

i m also tryiing my best

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marygawin
11/23/2011 6:13am

Thank you Sahaj for this..."I would like to take the time to introduce you...to you"... First heard of this loving thing when i attended a 3 day retreat on healing the inner child in 1997. Loving oneself is a daily call and a continuous process as well. Reading your blog re-affirms me to enjoy learning more about myself and above all enjoy loving and taking care of myself.

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whoisnell
11/23/2011 9:00am

thanks for the reminder..
many times even surrounded by people and loved ones, i feel alone
i'm thankful that despite being alone, i have good souls who's helped me through my worst time in my life..
and i'm just beginning to learn to appreciate my being alone and be comfortable with that
^*^

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June
11/23/2011 12:00pm

Thank you for the reminder!!! I will Love me more today so in the future I can Love you more!!!Imagine if we all started to love ourselves more each day the world would b full of lovely self loved humans. MMMMMMMMMMM sounds yummy

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L
11/24/2011 12:41am

Thank you! Found this when I needed it the most!

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SK link
05/15/2012 5:39pm

Hello! I am the author of this blog and I have moved my blog to another site. I want you to keep reading so please check it out here - www.aquarterlifecrisisblog.com
Thanks for reading! SK

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Bob
11/24/2011 11:14am

Yeah, I too was directed here by Paulo's blog. I am a Social Worker, as well. I tell you what, it is a daily struggle sometimes trying to be happy to be alone. I go looking for "quick fixes" though, sometimes, trying to find someone who can validate me when I'm feeling down. Paulo says that you can doubt your task, and sometimes you can forsake it, but what you must not do is forget it. Thank you.

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Yuti
11/24/2011 11:58am

simply awsome..

something every1 should read' understand n apply.. loved it..

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IPS
11/24/2011 12:02pm

I`ve learned this for some years ago, it was a long way to get there, but know i know i can be there for others wholeheartedly,this is a very precious skill to manage when i interact with others and i can be there for all and know i take care of myself too.Good luck to all for at least trying.:)

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Irene Kernreich link
11/24/2011 12:19pm

Well said, and thank you for sharing!

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dina ezzat
11/24/2011 12:19pm

Hat off :)

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mcai
11/24/2011 12:19pm

nice realization... true, might as well said that our worst enemy is thyself too... its hard to conquer thyself but when we try to listen and step back to re.assess where we are now, then we become better individuals... pampering oneself is a simple reminder to take a break and reload your positive batts... :) one of my simplest ways to celeb my bonding w/ the inner me is to spend sometime in a beauty parlor... yes! claim it..

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fari
11/24/2011 12:21pm

thanx alot for giving us such an incredible information

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Sidra Mobin
11/24/2011 12:26pm

I can totally relate to this. I was like this and my life was in peace. When i 'demanded' support i made my life mess. Thanks alot S.K. This is wonderful.

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jc
11/24/2011 12:30pm

priceless wish for my birthday :)

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Faryal
11/24/2011 12:39pm

I have learned from my life and personal experience that its human nature that they wont value anything they get free of cost.We love others madly we sacrifies our own rest,time,health,wealth and even dignity just to be a good friend and companian to them but after some time we become ennuing to them they start considering our love and care as a burden over their lives and within a single moment they thrown us out of thier lives without knowing that how much we get hurt by the reward we are getting for our love,care and trust.

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drucilla
11/24/2011 12:45pm

I remember a few years back-my husbands horse had to be put down due to west nile, my grandfather died, shortly after my dad and then my other grandfather-I was in a very raw place-I walked by a coworker and said -no one can help me-I was sad but It was a awareness-just as is written above-interestingly I then connected with that person and had almost 2 years of exploring and grew so much.

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Jerome
11/24/2011 12:51pm

100% agree and I'm my best friend and ask family and friends as secondary. If I listened my family never I left my hard job for another better one because they were afraid that I couldnt' find another one. Also I take time to help others when I'm well balanced and alone (no family). I saw so many people who are in hard situation, given advise to others and leave them in stronger position. Thanks for this post

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Abdul.A
11/24/2011 12:54pm

Thank you SK for sharing,i am alone as per these thoughts since years, at first i thought it is a depressed state of mind, but then i realized that its like being more calm and peaceful, controlling the situations more effectively and precisely. also some believe that creator is in you and as much you will be your friend will be more blessed by creator, the only way to know..

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bay link
11/24/2011 1:11pm

I always need more time alone, when I'm alone, I really found myself.

I actually really want to travel alone around the world. What do you think about that idea... Is it relevant with the idea that ourself is our best friend?

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rpaesbr
11/24/2011 1:13pm

This post is really nice. I love it, and I agree with jnana, I usually feel guilty if I'm taking care of myself, always feel selfish and because of this I'm always putting myself un 2nd, 3rd or any other place but 1st.

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sanjana
11/24/2011 1:16pm

thanks..i think i needed the thought at ds point of my life,as m losing my self confidence wth every coming day..i m in need of luvng myself firstly thn anytn else.

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Baburam
11/24/2011 1:23pm

That was a great post. Thanks a lot for sharing that here. It is the thing that I always ponder about. It happens like I realize to be my best friend so many a times but within few days I just forget and go on with the world until I get a sort of fade off or dumped off. Then again I realize that I am my best friend and this has been going on.
But now I am in the point of committing with myself to not forget me.
Thank You once again from the bottom of my heart.

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aira go link
11/24/2011 1:34pm

i have been doing this lately.. taking time out from my comfort zone alone.away from the things that are constant to me. and it really does help alot that we are able to see things with clarity when we are at distance and in retrospect. and i wholeheartedly agree with this base on my own experience.

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SK link
05/15/2012 5:42pm

Hello! I am the author of this blog and I have moved my blog to another site. I want you to keep reading so please check it out here - www.aquarterlifecrisisblog.com
Thanks for reading! SK

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Zule
11/24/2011 1:53pm

Thank u so much!!!!

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SK link
05/15/2012 5:42pm

Hello! I am the author of this blog and I have moved my blog to another site. I want you to keep reading so please check it out here - www.aquarterlifecrisisblog.com
Thanks for reading! SK

Reply
Shabana Feroze link
11/24/2011 2:02pm

Hi! I LOVED this! I wholehearthedly agree that we need to put Number One first! Of course, it's a challenge to do it for myself. I tweeted this post! Very nicely, simply put.

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Lauria link
11/24/2011 2:36pm

I am a wanderer, searcher...looking for Truth, Purpose and most of all Love; to be loved. I believe this search is universal to all humans. Now 50 some years have passed and my search has finally come to an end and it makes me smile. We are born to be loved.

The search, the quest filled with questions is useful, I guess. Some of it was fun and filled with wonder, parts were filled with sorrow, pain and an unending circle leading nowhere.

Now I know!!!! The love is Me. I am the love I have been searching for!! It does not live outside of me except for the sharing from within. I Love Myself and when I share that love it vibrates and travels to all of life. To be alone is the space I use to allow love to enfold me and allows energy to calm and remind me of my connection to God, Love, The Great Universe...there is not specific name for it...Thank you for allowing me to share my thoughts!

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Jessie
11/24/2011 3:28pm

First, I want to thank Mr. Paolo Coelho for posting this blog in his fb...

Very nice thought. Though I have friends, there's a time that I love being alone. Hope I could talk to you too.

Godbless you always.

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Micki
11/24/2011 3:31pm

Thanks for sharing S.K.

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fatima
11/24/2011 4:40pm

eu sei que não sou nenhum exemplo de amor próprio, tive e ainda tenho meus problemas que se resultaram nisso e segundo alguns entendidos no assunto é irreverssivel, mesmo sabendo disso e sentindo profunda tristeza estou satisfeita comigo mesma.

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yash
11/24/2011 5:17pm

love it, over the last year i have realized the same, couldn't have put it much better myself, and the results have been as wonderful as you make it out to be in your post. :)

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Jaime Alfredo Mena aguilar link
11/24/2011 5:25pm

He luchado toda mi vida y empiezo a "gozar" de mi jubilación, he amado y amo intensamente, pero no soy comprendido, trato de ayudar en todo lo que puedo a mis hijos y a estás alturas no soy feliz porque siempre antepongo mi bienestar al de mi familia. Como gota exquisita del mejor vino me ha caído esta reflexión. Gracias por tan lindas palabras que son una realidad y no me había dado cuenta.

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Danica
11/24/2011 7:08pm

Sometimes we don't really know ourselves. Yes its time for me to get to know me better. and be true to who and what i really am. This is a very helpful blog. Thank you.

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Nancy
11/24/2011 7:51pm

Gracias, tengo semanas sintiéndome sola, hoy creo que es algo bueno, aunque muchas veces da miedo el conocerte, aparecen tus demonios mas grandes, pero también aprendes a combatirlos. Me encanto

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Hunny
11/24/2011 8:41pm

You made me smile. Thank you!

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Melissa Augustina link
11/24/2011 8:56pm

I truly agree. If u're not in love with ur self, then u can't be a whole person at all. Learning to accept who you are, and deal with it is the first step to love urself. Then u can see urself relating to others as a whole person that not seek anything from them to fill ur empty parts inside. That leads to better understanding and meaningful life and relationship with human and God.

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farida qadeer
11/25/2011 1:06am

Very inspiring....I m a loner n yes i love to be alone and i really enjoy being alone....but sometime loneliness is killing...am worst at making friends...I wish there is some way to kill loneliness....

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archana
11/25/2011 1:40am

loved your post.i have always loved my 'me'time.but use to feel guilty about it.you have rid me of that guilt feeling.thanks.

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James
11/25/2011 1:41am

Being the oldest son of a numerous family is watching how your parents make sacrifices to do something as basic as put food on the table.

I saw how my parents made due with what they had so that there was enough for everyone.

When you live this way you are part of a community and the self takes a back seat as such.

It's not that you don't like yourself, it's more like it feels better when everyone around you in your own home has balance.

Sooner or later you leave that community. Everything changes .
Sooner or later you have to attend your own self. Often you have to pick your rearend up in the morning and throw yourself into the world.
God is good and you are here for a reason, something special. He makes the road easier to travel, the load lighter. All along the way there is encouragment to keep going.

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amar
11/25/2011 1:48am

how true. this is what exactly i feel. but only people like you can pen it. thanx a lot :)

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Josephine
11/25/2011 2:35am

This is echoes what i felt and i am glad i realised that before it was too late.

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Carla
11/25/2011 4:48am

Have been saying this for ages but when times are hard i find it difficult to put into action,am trying to get more me time,as i do burn out with all the stress in the world.Thank you for saying what i knew already,now i'll try even harder to love me.

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sk
11/25/2011 5:33am

I really enjoyed your post.Only recently i realized that i need to tend to myself and that also without any guilt. Reading your post just put conviction to my thoughts

keep it up

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catie link
11/25/2011 7:10am

There is good advice in standing on your own two feet and going for a walk. Eating a good diet and excercising makes us feel better. I love my alone time. I disliked after breaking up with a boyfriend (which was a good thing) but I have adjusted. I want to learn about lots of other things (selfish time) read nurture myself so that I can share my joy with others that need me. Family, some "friends, and a volunteer afternoon or day in the trenches. Work is difficult (in the courts). it is my biggest challenge because of some people's bad behaviour, but I love what I do. I'm trying to balance that. Love myself first, then take on my challenges more capably, and think about the wonderful people I haven meant or things I haven't done. and give smiles and hugs and help along the way. thanks

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AJ
11/25/2011 8:41am

Love others, like you would love yourself :=)

Lovely read, mate. God Bless.

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nm
11/26/2011 9:50am

I found this post on Paulo Coelho's blog space.

While I have never met you until this moment, your words spoke exactly to my heart and seemed to mirror what I am experiencing at this time. I am a 25 year old female, who also works in the social service field. Lately I've found myself struggling tremendously with my life and constantly wondering if what I'm doing is right. I feel like I'm so unsure of everything these days. I know that I often fear taking care of my self first means that I am weak or selfish. Thank you for your inspiring message and gentle reminder. I hope that your burdens may be eased as you continue your journey. I pray that your heart my overflow with love and and your life be blessed with happiness, and I thank the God above that I was able to connect with you through your words of understanding and wisdom. Thank you!

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Charles
11/26/2011 9:51am

you probably have read a lot of this type of message I'm about to write but I would truly love to thank you so much because this blog landed on my screen in just the right time because I have been "unconsciously" selfish to everyone recently. I have also been feeling lonely and asking for real friends when I myself was not. It's just today this was slapped on my face so thank you.

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mahjbeen
11/27/2011 10:40am

wish i had read this twenty years ago.......i learned this the hard way......now deprived of my life long savings...having experiencing the shallowness of friends and family......NOW i am alone.....lesson well learned...have found ME

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Vinod Madhok link
11/27/2011 7:26pm

I love it the very thought of not lonely but alone in silence of our own ...a journey inside to travel without travel in quest to find our self beyond the shadow of our own ! Thanks so much for sharing!

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Zineb link
11/28/2011 2:38am

I like being alone just with myself contemplating my inner soul but I do not know if other people consider this as a sacred peace between the person and his self and that sould be respected.

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siena
11/28/2011 2:47am

I can very much relate to this. Thank you for sharing your wisdom with us. I'm the eldest in the family & as a breadwinner, I always put my family first in making decisions or before taking actions. This made me feel guilty about thinking about myself first & considering this as a sign of selfishness. I have sacrificed some of my dreams for my family's dreams & it's hard & painful. I'm now trying to be "alone", thinking things through & listening to my own voice. Not that I've turned my back on my famly, I'm just following my heart & what my family is now telling me... That I've done my part & it's time for me to go on my own journey.

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Tiger
11/28/2011 3:02pm

If I am not for myself, who will be for me?

If I am only for myself, what am I?

If not now, when?

A direct quote from Rabbi Hillel

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Yuly
11/29/2011 5:54pm

I really love this post!! but concerning to my self, I think I like me but I have to admit that sometimes I can't stand myself and my own company irritates me. I'm only a better person when arround others.
I think I have a long journey ahead of me.

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ali
11/29/2011 6:14pm

After spending half my life(15yrs) socially and spiritually crippled with an eating disorder, I am grateul to say im a year and a half in recovery. However due to sunch ingrained self loathing and unreachable goals i cant remember who i was, who i should be as a woman cause i missed the transittion,cause i know i cant say i missed the chance to develop im doing my hardest...yet finding how alone i feel having cut out all my friends,love, and self love...i am struggling to learn to do the right things in self care because i WANT to, not cause i know its what i should do??? where do i start clearing the messy "room"

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Vincent Sylvan link
11/30/2011 9:24am

The Analysis of Being Selfish

This word has been distorted for generations to the point which all of you think it is bad to be selfish. Here is what Webster’s dictionary says about this word. “Devoted to or caring only for oneself; concerned primarily with one’s own interest, benefits, welfare, etc., regardless of others.”
This must have been written by someone who thinks going against Nature is very smart and proper. The whole statement contradicts itself! But it sounds so proper and altruistic…that is why people believe it to be true. It has a lie mixed with truth and that is why it infiltrates our defenses.
This is how I see this:
This is how I see this:
1. I was born alone and I will die alone; I am the one that has to
protect myself to be healthy emotionally, physically, mentally,
economically, spiritually, and sexually. Then it is ok to be selfish.
2. If my goal in life is to be happy, and happiness comes from being
with other people, then I have to be concerned about treating other
people fair. That is the contradiction with the statement of Webster.
We need people and we must treat the people of our choice fairly.
3. It is selfish to give to others (to the ones who deserve my
gifts) because their human nature will want to give back to me in
return, and because it pleases me to contribute to the human race
to which I belong.
4. My goal in life is to do the best of my abilities for the glory of
my Creator, and for my own pleasure; therefore, I have to protect
myself. I have to interact with others in order to prosper. I have to
be selfish!
5. I believe in love, and love comes from being selfish. Nature is
selfish and works constantly to obtain its own balance.
Are you selfish when you breathe air without concern on your neighbor?
You bit!
Is it wrong to do this?
I don’t think so…
Yes, the world is not selfish enough!
Our believes have been distorted because of it!
Our integrity is weak because of it!
Our vision has been compromised because of it!
Our potential has been sabotaged because of it!
Our happiness is not attainable because of it! On…and on….
Here is an example;
You have met a man and you are attracted to him. After a short time you realize there are some things in his personality which do not please you. Without evaluating properly, you decide to change his bad habits to please yourself. After sometime, his bad habits do not change and then you blame him for not changing.
Can the sun stop from shinning?
Can you change a dog from barking?
Will you not get wet if you jump in water with bare skin?
Can you change your man the way that he is?
If your answer to these four questions is NO, then you are getting to the root of the problem.
There is no sense fighting Nature!
You will not win!
You will get frustrated and unhappy in that battle.
We fight Nature because we do not respect it enough.
In doing so, we think we are more clever than our Creator and that
is why you can’t obtain the happiness that belongs to you.
Be selfish! Be selfish! Be selfish!…..
Greed is bad. Selfish is good!
Evaluate properly and get the results desired, every time and always! Here is a little story about selfishness:
Jim and Joe where walking in the fields when all of a sudden they
realized they were hungry. Joe spotted an apple tree and climbed on it
to gather some apples. All Joe could find were two apples;
one apple was bigger than the other, so Joe gave Jim the small apple and
he kept the big one.
Jim protested, calling Joe selfish and asking him why he kept the big apple and gave him the small one. Joe's response was, "What would you have done in my place Jim?"
Jim answered with altruistic conviction, "I would have given you the big one and I would have kept the small one."
Joe then replied, "That is what we have Jim. You have the small apple and I have the big one."
Joe added, "Your complaint does not make any sense Jim. Yes, I am selfish and I have shared with you my food. I did the work of climbing the tree and gave you my gift because you are a person who is my friend and I enjoy your company."
This explanation made Jim think and he, realizing the truth in Joe’s statement, replied, "I will climb the tree next time then, do the work, and keep the bigger apple for myself."
Joe answered, "I will not complain when you give me the smaller apple Jim, instead, I will be very happy with your generosity for giving me food without me doing the work."
Yes, it is a gift when we receive things from others without us having done work for it. Remember to share your materials things and your talents, but only with people of same kind, of people who deserve you, and not with drug addicts, losers, or people whom have no respect for life.
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vesna
12/04/2011 4:22am

i'm alone too but i learned to accompany to myself joyfully but sometimes i need to remember it. You make me realize its joy again very inspiring thank you

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Pooja
12/06/2011 1:47am

i completely agree with you, i hv always grown up being a best friend to myself only till the day i fell in love with someone.. my love is still to be reciprocated though, i have lost myself entirely to the person i love.. my every action is first intended for his good then mine..to the world it may appear that i am neglecting myself..bt its not so, after all true love takes you away from yourself , its abt madly surrendering yourself.. do u think in a such situation, such a neglect of ownself is correct or not? I wud be patiently waiting for a feed back..

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Thank you. You reiterated what I've always told myself but recently lost sight of. Like what Pooja wrote in December, I lost sight of myself after I fell in love and put him before me, despite knowing that wasn't the way it should be. I am thankful to see what I had lost, and I now feel I have a new light inside me that will shine through and in all relationships outside of myself, simply because I will begin with that relationship with myself. Thank you for relighting that fire.

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